Teen Dating Violence: What Every Girl Should Know

One of the hardest lessons that you’ll ever have to learn is not Chemistry, Calculus or even the laws of Physics. It has nothing to do with history, English Literature or understanding why Maya Angelou’s caged bird sings. It’s how to recognize and get out of an abusive relationship.

Perhaps he only hits you when he’s angry. Maybe he doesn’t hit you at all. Instead he calls you names, tells you that you’re nothing without him and tries to control every move you make. Or maybe he doesn’t do any of these things but there’s a little voice inside your head telling you that YOU’RE TREADING ON DEADLY GROUND. You can’t quite put your finger on it.

You’re not entirely sure how to explain it. But you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there’s something horribly wrong going on. You’re too afraid to ask for help, but too afraid not to. Paralyzed by fear and blinded by love you don’t know which way to turn or how to set yourself free. If this is happening to you, then you are in an abusive relationship. Regardless of what he tells you or what you may think, you don’t have to take it. And believe it or not, you are not alone. Studies show that one out of five women have experience violence or emotional intimidation in their relationships.

Dating violence is very serious, because many of these relationships end in hospitalizations and some even end in death. And just like you, they all thought it wouldn’t happen to them. This is why it is critical that you seek help and get out if you are in an abusive relationship. The longer you stay the worse your situation will get. I know it’s hard to imagine being without him because you love him and you really want to believe that things will get better. But they won’t unless you leave.

Laurie age 19 says, “ The first time my boyfriend hit me, I couldn’t believe it. He saw me kiss one of my male friends on the cheek and totally flipped out. He waited until we were alone, dragged me behind the building and beat me down to the ground. He told me that it was my fault because I shouldn’t be kissing on other guys when I already have a boyfriend. Could you believe that I stayed with him for two more years after that?”

Michelle age 17 says, “ Rick was the most popular guy in school. I couldn’t believe he wanted to go out with me. He could have any girl he wanted and he chose me. He had a nice car, bought me jewelry and made me feel like I was special. But three months into the relationship things changed. He would call me a bitch or a whore if I even looked at another guy. He told me if I ever left him he would kill me. I didn’t believe him until he took out a gun and pulled the trigger. Luckily it wasn’t loaded.”

Brenda age 21 says, “ I’ve been with Miguel since I was 16. We use to play fight but then it would turn serious. He would choke me and pull my hair. He told me that no one else wanted me because I was fat. I was carrying his baby that’s why I was fat. But he didn’t care. sometimes if he got real angry he hit me in my stomach. He blames me for everything. Half the time I didn’t know what was wrong. If he went out all night with his friends I was supposed to sit by the phone and wait. But if I wanted to hang out with my friends Miguel would have a fit.

Even though he hit me it was the name-calling that hurt me the most. I can take a punch, but I don’t like him calling me a “bitch”.
If you or someone you know is in a situation like Laurie, Michelle, or Brenda then you have got to get help and get out . Dating violence happens everywhere and with all kinds of people. Violence is not a normal part of dating. It is not healthy. Hitting and jealousy are not signs of love they are signs of control. Every violent relationship has the potential of ending in murder. Even if the guy doesn’t mean to kill his girlfriend it can happen. Are you willing to take that chance?

What Is Relationship Abuse?

Relationship abuse occurs when you are threatened, coerced, intimidated, insulted or assaulted by the person you are in a relationship with. Relationship abuse is not the same as having an argument. In an abusive relationship one person is afraid of, or intimidated by the other. Relationship abuse does not just happen one time, it is something that happens over and over again. There are three kinds of relationship abuse: emotional, physical, and sexual.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can be difficult to detect because it’s not as obvious as physical or sexual abuse – but it is damaging none the less. Emotional abuse includes name calling, put downs, being told that you are worthless or ugly, being unfavorably compared to other females, being humiliated, embarrassed, threatened, and ordered around.

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is hitting, pushing, slapping, kicking, and pulling your hair, punching, choking, throwing things at you or pulling weapons out on you. Physical abuse usually becomes more violent as the relationship progresses. The longer you stay the worse the beatings get. Physical abuse is used to scare you, restrain you and control you. Hitting is not an act of love. It is an act of violence.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse occurs when you are forced, intimidated, manipulated or coerced into participating in a sexual act which can include intercourse, oral sex, fondling or any other type of sexual act. Perhaps he didn’t force you to have sex but he coerced , intimidated or manipulated you into having sex. That’s still sexual abuse and it is not your fault. Maybe he threatened to leave you or spread rumors about you if you didn’t have sex with him. If he did then you were coerced. And you don’t have to take it.

What Are Warning Signs That Will Tell You If Your Boyfriend Has The Potential To Be An Abuser?

The reason so many young women get trapped in abusive relationships is because they don’t know what the early warning signs are. Answer these questions and find out if your boyfriend has the potential to be an abuser.

· Is your boyfriend jealous and possessive?

· Does he try to tell you who to talk to and who you should be friends with?

· Does he become angry and agitated the moment you talk to another guy?

· Does he constantly accuse you of flirting with other guys or cheating on him?

· Does he tell you what to wear? · Has he ever called you out of your name?

· Does he try to make you feel guilty if you cannot see him?

· Does he ask you your whereabouts whenever he’s unable to reach you?

· Does he try to isolate you from your friends and family?

· Does he have a violent temper?

· Have you ever seen him call another female out of her name?

· Do you find yourself apologizing to your friends for your boyfriend’s remarks or behaviors?

· Does he threaten to leave you if you don’t do what he wants?

· Does he insist on seeing you during all of your free time?

· Do you feel you have to ask him permission before you make a decision?

· Does he spy on you or call you constantly to see what you are doing?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then your boyfriend has the potential to be an abuser. Pay attention to the warning signs and listen to your intuition. If you think that you may be in danger then leave before it’s too late. Talk your feelings through with someone you trust and listen to what your intuition is telling you to do. Don’t make excuses and don’t try to talk yourself out of your feelings.

Are You In An Abusive Relationship?

Many young women do not realize that their relationship is abusive because their boyfriends behave like Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde. One day he is loving and attentive the next day he is violent and enraged. Abusive relationships become more violent over time. Usually an abuser doesn’t start hitting his girlfriend until he feels comfortable in the relationship or she tries to leave him. For your own safety and well-being you need to know if your relationship is abusive. You may have even noticed that there is a predictable pattern to your relationship. Your boyfriend’s moods and behavior may go back and forth in a cycle. This is known as the cycle of violence. I’ll explain this cycle as we go along.

To figure out if you are in an abusive relationship ask yourself these questions.

· Are you afraid of, or intimidated by your boyfriend? · Have you ever lied to your friends and family to cover up your boyfriend’s behavior?

· Are you afraid to make new friends, because you don’t want to upset your boyfriend?

· Has your boyfriend ever pressured you to do something that made you feel dirty or uncomfortable?

· Has your boyfriend ever put you down, ridiculed you or hurt you in any way?

· Does he slap, shove, kick, shake, pull your hair or throw things at you?

· Has he ever threatened you?

· Has he ever pulled a weapon out on you?

· Do you not see friends and family because of his jealousy?

· Do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells in order to keep him happy?

· Have you been secretive or afraid to tell others about your boyfriend?

· Does he drink, use drugs then becomes violent?

· Does he follow you or constantly make you check in with him?

· Has he ever threatened to hurt you, someone you love, or himself if you leave him?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then you are in an abusive relationship. You may think it’s no big deal. But it is, because it will only get worse. The reason it is so difficult to end an abusive relationship is because an abuser is not always behaving abusively. This is the cycle of violence that I referred to earlier. Barrie Levy author of, “ In Love and In Danger: A Teen’s Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships,” says that every abusive relationship goes through a three-tier cycle.

Stage 1. The Tension Building Stage

This is the stage where the tension begins to build. You boyfriend becomes more irritable, agitated and explosive. He blows up over little things, lashes out and is extremely critical of you. You feel like you have to walk on eggshells or stay out of his way in order to keep him calm. The tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife.

Stage 2. The Explosion Stage

This is the stage where your boyfriend strikes out – either physically or verbally. He calls you names, throws things at you or assaults you. The longer you stay together the worse the explosions become. Perhaps this time it was a shove or a slap, maybe next time it will be a punch, a kick, or a visit to the emergency room.

Stage 3. Honeymoon Stage

This is the stage where he tells you how sorry he is and swears that it will never happen again. This is what keeps the two of you together. He promises to control his temper. You promise not to upset him. He buys you flowers and candy or writes you passionate love letters. He tells you how much he loves you and that you are the center of his universe. You both make excuses. And you take him back hoping he really means it this time.

What Can You Do If You Are Being Abused?

If you are in an abusive relationship seek help and get out. Talk to someone who can help – a counselor, a teacher, your family, a minister or a trusted friend. There is a listing of helpful numbers in the resource section of this book that can help you figure out your options. There are people who want to help you. You do not have to go through this experience alone. You’ve already taken the first step by reading this chapter. You can begin helping yourself by recognizing that you are lovable, capable and worthwhile and you have the power to heal from this experience. You may feel ashamed, afraid, alone or even depressed but you can move past this and come out stronger. What you need most is time and support to heal. You deserve to be safe. You deserve love that is not violent or abusive. You deserve to go to bed at night not feeling afraid. Here are some things that you can do to be safe.

Take The Abuse Seriously

Dating violence is serious business. You’ve got to take your situation seriously if you want the abuse to stop. Insist that your boyfriend go for counseling to get the help he needs. If you are not ready then at least take a time out period from your relationship until he completes an anger management or counseling program. If he refuses then you must leave for good.

Talk to Someone

Tell someone what is happening. Talk to your family or a trained professional who can help you work through your feelings. You need support to figure out what to do. Talking to your friends can help you get your feelings out but you need the support of your family along with a professional to get through this. If you have been in an abusive relationship for a while, friends and family may already suspect what is going on. They want to help but they may not know how. Keep talking until you find someone who can help you feel safe.

Develop A Safety Plan

If you think that your boyfriend will become violent when you try to cool things off or leave him plan for your safety. Think about whatever you can do not to be alone with him or in the same vicinity. Arrange for friends and family to meet you after school or work. Walk to and from classes with other people. Let your family, roommates or answering machine screen your calls. If you are going out, make sure that someone knows where you are how to contact you, and what time you are coming back. This way if you are not back at that time you said you would be, someone can look for you or call the police.

Plan for Your Safety Now

I will have important numbers on me at all times.
My local precinct # __________________ Counselors # _______________
Friends # ________________________
Domestic Violence Hotline # _________________________
I can tell ________________ and _________________ about my situation and ask them to call the police if they hear or see anything suspicious
If I need a place to stay I can go to (list 3 places) _____________________
_________________________ ____________________________
I can avoid places that I’ll see my ex such as
__________________ __________________ ___________________
If I feel like going back to him I will call __________________ to talk things through and help me figure out what to do.

Let the legal system help you

Your boyfriend’s violence against you is a crime. You can go to the police, your principle, the counselor or the campus security to a file a complaint. You can also get an order of protection against him which is an order by the court that says your abuser has to stay away from you. If he violates the order then he can be arrested. Domestic violence is a serious matter and it’s also against the law.

Join a Support Group

Sometimes it helps to talk to other people who are going through the same situation as you. A support group is a safe place to share your experiences, listen to the experiences of others and figure out how to handle problems when they arise. You don’t have to worry about feeling stupid or being judged because everyone in the group is going through a similar situation. To find a support group in your area speak to a counselor at school, a friend or call one of the hotlines listed in the resource section of this book and ask for a listing of places to go for help.

Do positive things that boost your self-esteem

Spend time with old friends and start making new ones. The simple task of keeping yourself busy will do wonders for your self-esteem. Join a community service project. You will be amazed at how much better you’ll feel when you’re doing good deeds and helping others. Not to mention the great new friends you will make. Take a workshop. Read a good book. Listen to music – no sad songs. Fix up your bedroom. Make a gift basket for a friend or family member who you haven’t seen for a while. The more you get out, the more you’ll realize how much fun life can be without him.

Building a healthy relationship takes work and emotional maturity

In a healthy relationship you are not afraid of your boyfriend. When one of you gets angry you find a healthy way to resolve the situation. You are able to spend time alone and do things together. You do not feel pressured to have sex. You feel appreciated and cared for. The bottom line is dangerous love can turn into deadly obsession. And there is no good reason to subject yourself to that. While it may be frightening to leave a violent relationship it’s far more dangerous to stay. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. You deserve to be safe. It’s your life and you have the power to take control of it. Look how far you’ve come already. Romantic love can be exciting, passionate and sometimes addicting. But what you have to keep in mind is when he loves you to death he may send you to the grave to prove it.

Copyright © 2000 by Cassandra Mack
Cassandra Mack, MSW is the CEO of Strategies for Empowered Living and the author of "Cool, Confident and Strong: 52 Power Moves for Girls." She produces and hosts an internet talk radio show, The No More Drama Hour of Power, which can be heard by going to: http://www.caribworldradio.com To find out more about the author go to: http://www.strategiesforempoweredliving.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Cassandra_Mack

Reasons Why Girls Date Older Men

Girls date older men all the time and society has really witnessed the cases increase. Dating older men for young girls comes with its own advantages and disadvantages. Many girls have opted for men who are older than them ignoring all the disadvantages that are present. This article seeks to explore the reasons why girls date older men.

It is vital to mention that the trend or practice is not just rampant in modern settings but, in traditional settings as well. In the traditional setting, many girls are married of even without their consent. Their parents are involved in arranging the marriages and, the girls end up being together with older men. The main reason for this is financial gain.

This example is a bit different although, there are girls in the traditional settings who voluntarily opt to be married to older men. In the modern setting, a young girl will have many reasons; the following is an overview of some of those reasons.

The main reasons why girls date older men are because of financial security and stability. Older guys will tend to have it made and, many will be blessed with some few investments and money. This is a lucrative thing and when girls realize that they can take advantage of this, they go for it. In other words, many young girls have become gold diggers. However, it is also valid to say that older men know exactly what the girls are after and therefore do not mind as they encourage the trend. After all, there is something in for them. Older guys like the excitement of young vibrant souls in their lives.

The buzz keeps them on their toes as they seek to have great romantic getaways. Reasons why girls date older men are for emotional security also. Young men are a bit rough and mainly unstable when it comes to relationships. Older guys know what they want and are more decisive and mature. For this reason, young girls can depend on the older guys to provide this.

Therefore, there are girls who are genuinely in search of love and affection. Girls date older men to get back at their peers. This can be a revenge mission where everything is centered on teaching the people they really love a lesson. Older guys are mainly untouchable and respected and, this is a plan that mainly works when one is truly lucky. Another reason for dating older men by girls is for the purpose of getting ahead. The girls may want favors which are not necessarily money. Many young girls have gotten the deals and breakthroughs they were looking for, just because of dating older guys.

Whatever your reason for dating the men is, remember one thing. Life might not give you fifth or sixth chances of true love and, when you are young, it is best to seek that real genuine love that will not waiver in the end; regardless of what age the man is. Love is about living life to the fullest and enjoying yourself with clean fun everyday.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Free Online Dating Service Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Dating And Relationships Magazine.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Francis_K_Githinji

3 Do's and 3 Dont's For Dating Professionals

Dating. Relationships. Ambitions. Career. Love. Do these all fall into different baskets or can they all co-exist? I recently went to a single's mingling event in my hometown. As somewhat as a first timer to these types of events, I really didn't know what to expect so I thought instead of just participating, I would observe and report what I noticed and my personal expertise and experiences in dating and finding that right person as a working professional.

In today's society, we have been cultured to take life in the fast lane. Whether it is Starbucks, or drive through dining, or even the purchase of goods and services online...we have created a way of life that removes steps from everyday actions. Why do we do this? I think the answer is time. As a working professional, my time and others are valued at a cost...a wage, a client, an opportunity. So, how do we co-mingle the inherent way of life that us working professionals live, and also try to find a partner?

Having a strong background in interpersonal relationships, and psychology...I think the answer is that working professionals must take that discretionary time that we actually have, to seek out new and those people who can relate to our way of life and who understand how living in the fast lane can affect your social and dating life.

Getting back to the even that I attended, I noticed that many people grouped together. Some co-workers went with other co-workers, and the men (especially) seemed to group together that were there alone to find a common thing to talk about because it was the easier solution that trying to connect with someone from the opposite sex to evaluate whether or not there is a chemistry. There have been many books and movies recently to be released citing how Men and Women are much different, and how they mature at different ages. There have also been many theories about how to hook that someone that you are after. However, dating is not fishing. Indeed, there are many fish in the sea, and I think that this is what it truly boils down to. With so many college graduates entering the workplace and executives that travel extensively...the pool doesn't shrink, it is just a bit more difficult to take a dive into that dating pool. With that said, I think there are 3 do's and 3 don'ts to dating as a working professional.

First, the do's. Number 1: Opportunities are created everyday for meeting others. Find a local place where others hang out, and go alone. Introduce yourself to as many people as possible until a conversation evolves. Relationships begin with conversation, I think we can all agree that communication is an integral part in business and in our personal lives. Number 2: When the topic of work comes up...be honest, but make it short. Don't use your time with someone to discuss work...learn about the other person. Learn about them and who they are...their likes, dislikes, and common interests. Number 3: As much as it could seem trite. Go online. I have many colleagues whom have met their match on dating websites. There are an abundance of them out there and quite a few are geared toward dating professionals. Join a site, give it a shot. See if it's right for you or not, but especially those who might be intimidated a bit by approaching the opposite sex. This could be a great solution for you...and is proven to work, and in turn...goes with the theory of living in the fast lane. It allows you to put the information you would would to know or provide to someone without letting your guard down for rejection.

Now, the Don'ts. Number 1: Don't feel like you are the only one in your shoes. There is a gigantic amount of working professionals who are single and are looking for partnership. Number 2: Don't be afraid to let down your guard just a bit. Communication is based on send and receive...so don't let a wall get in the way of that. Be yourself and don't try to impress or put up a front for someone. Lastly...Number 3: This is probably the most important of all. Do not play games. As working professionals, most of us are about the bottom line or about facts and opportunity. Games only complicate your efforts and typically will end up just wasting the time that you spend in your efforts to find that special someone.

It all comes down to this...as a working professional, we all should be at least adequate at one common thing. Time management. Find the right solution for you in order to make time for dating and meeting other common professionals. This is not only a good thing for business/networking, but opens up a breadth of opportunity to improve your personal life and personal aspirations to co-exist with the career, the ambitions, and the life you already lead.

To find great singles in the Orlando, Florida area visit Orlando Singles or visit us at dating Orlando

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Eric_Dashal

How to Date a Nigerian Girl

Can someone please tell me why Nigerian guys are more confident than Nigerian girls (ladies, women which ever description you choose) in uploading a picture onto the growing number of Nigerian dating sites we have on the market? There are so many guys who have uploaded their pictures. However, you look up the typical Nigerian lady profile and you don't find a picture? Shy, do you say? Well, I say it's probably because at one time or the other we have felt that online dating is for those who are 'impotent' to find someone offline?! Someone tell Nigerian girls to upload a picture...

HOW TO DATE A NIGERIAN GIRL?

The factors that create relationships are the same online or offline. I stand to be corrected but women are the same the world over and quickly respond to the same set of factors. We would all know by now that the typical woman out there wants to feel loved, wanted and I believe a secured feeling is a sine-qua-non for women. Let me explain with an example, a Nigerian guy was talking about his girl (she was Nigerian by the way) the other day and he said, 'we have a house which we are renting and the natural thing is to begin to think about a mortgage so we can stop paying rent and obviously have a house of our own'.

He went on, 'there is another thinking I had...lets buy a house and rent it out and get another one for ourselves and keep buying as many as we can because I was interested in investing in the property market'. She rejected the idea flatly...she wanted a warm and cosy house right away and was not thinking of some long term investment or whatever!

THE WHOLE IDEA

Men are naturally wired to be hunters and I think Nigerian men are very good hunters! Don't try to impress immediately with a show of strength; how big mouthed you are or how rich you are (women might love wealth but you end up with gold diggers if you flaunt wealth upfront). Have you heard the saying? Women fall in love through their EARS while men fall in love through their EYES!

You best bet on a Nigerian dating site is to write a profile describing your outdoor choices, music, pet dreams etc. Now, I realize that this doesn't work for all but it works for the majority! Don't be all egoistical when writing a profile, put yourself in her shoes and ask what you would love to know if you were the lady?! You also generally have to make the first move! It's disappeared in some places but Nigerian girls still believe largely in you making the first contact! So, purchase that subscription!

Are you Nigerian or a friend of Nigeria and are looking for love? Click for Nigeria Personals

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pete_Ade

Black People Meet - Find African American Dating Partners For Free

Do you want to meet African Americans online for dates or casual encounters? There is actually a very simple method. It takes only a few minutes of your time.

A lot of people looking for African Americans online make the mistake of choosing an expensive niche service or a totally free dating service. Most people type black people meet into their favorite search engine. This brings up a diverse range of free and paid dating sites for African Americans. There are, however, problems with both types of site.

The niche dating site aimed, specifically, at African Americans are usually expensive and have few members. They are, on the whole, setup in order to take advantage of people looking for black dates. The membership fees can be as much as double that of regular sites. Turned off by the high prices man people opt for free dating sites. These are bad in a different way. Most of the profiles on these sites are fake, created by spammers who are selling everything from dating and cams to porn. These sites also sell your email address and profile information to mailing lists. Some mailing lists have been known to steal identities.

A much better way to find a black date or casual encounter is simply to get a free membership to a big, respectable dating site. These sites are regulated so you wont encounter spam or have your details sold to mailing lists. Their free accounts entitle you to do most things you would do with conventional free dating and even if you choose to upgrade you will pay half the price of niche sites.

So how do you use popular dating sites to find black dates? Easy. Just create a free account and a profile. In your profile state that you want to meet African Americans. This will encourage African Americans to visit your page through the internal search engine. You can also visit the search page yourself and put in a search for local black people. You can search by ethnicity, age, location, even height. Once you have a list of local black people you can add them as friends or send them messages. And, even on your free account, you will be able to receive messages and accept their friend requests.

Meet Men & Women In Your Town, IT'S FREE ---> Join Amateur Match Free

Get a FREE account on one of the largest dating sites with over 8 MILLION MEMBERS.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Angelina_Andrews

How to Get Any Girl's Attention Real Fast! - Women Will Swarm You Wherever You Go After You Read This

Have you ever wondered why you just cannot get the attention of any girl when you enter a room? Well it still isn't very late to learn a couple of useful tricks to get any girl's attention real fast, after all life will always offer you a second chance. Choose the right bag of tricks to woo a girl and see what a difference it will make to your life - go get her dude.

You are what your clothes show you to be - what you wear will always matter to every girl. So the next time you are out socializing with people - don't forget to dress up in the best possible manner. Use a dash of cologne or perfume which gels well with your personality - your clothes and accessories should set you off from the rest of the guys.

Attitude counts big time - always look confident when you enter a room. Keep a killer smile ready when you meet your friends as well as new people. A combination of confidence and friendliness always works well, as every girl appreciates these two qualities in a guy.

Compliment her - no girl can resist a good compliment, so don't miss any opportunity to praise her genuinely. Say something good about her which has not been said by anyone else - let it be something true and unique about her. This will definitely get the girl's attention totally towards you.

Be yourself - don't be a phony, this will put off most girls who are attending any social gathering. Instead don't be afraid to show your real nature especially if you are a nice guy at heart. If you are helpful by nature, continue doing that - most girls appreciate this quality in any guy.

Now listen carefully-

What you are about to discover something most men will never know when it comes to attracting women. This is one thing which is an absolute must know for every man out there. You are about to discover an ultimate secret weapon which will make women chase you around like crazy Even If You Are Bald, Fat Or Ugly!.....Trust me....You don't want to miss this one. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page because it might be the most important message you ever read Click Here

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rahul_Talwar

Get My Ex Girlfriend Back - How to Woo My Ex Girlfriend Into My Arms Again

The one thing you should remember if you want to get your ex girlfriend back is that she's hurting as much as you are. When a woman gets hurt, she is simply not going to give you an easy time to win her back. She is going to look forward in giving you a tough time. So be prepared to sacrifice a little bit of yourself if you seriously want your ex girlfriend back. There are two ways on how you can try to get your ex back.

The Typical Guy's Way

Most guys--and women do this too--start dating other people immediately after a breakup. What's worse is that they usually make sure that their ex girlfriend sees them with the other girl. Now, this could sometimes work because it gives off the impression that you are totally over her and that you've moved on. Most women who see their exes with other girls become jealous even if they don't want to admit it. Now, if this works for you, then your ex girlfriend might start flirting with you again to let you see that she is still interested to patch things up. The only problem with this is that you might end up hurting the other girls' feelings. You certainly do not want two girls hating you at the same time.

The Not-so-typical Guys' Way

Luckily, there are guys who like to use a different approach in getting their ex girlfriends back. This requires extra effort on your part. You can try to change your overall appearance. It doesn't have to be an insanely new image. You just try to clean yourself up. Shave, get new wardrobes, and get a new haircut. It will give her the impression that you have changed and you are turning over a new leaf. Hang out where she hangs out and if she greets you then pretend you didn't notice her or greet her but don't make a fuss about it. You can talk to her friends but make sure not to ask about her or her feelings. If your ex girlfriend sees that you're not suffering as much as she is hoping, then she might reconsider her decision. This will take you one step closer to getting your ex back.

Just be cautious and not overdo these things since you might end up making things worse than a simple attempt to get your ex girlfriend back.

Discover the exact words to say and actions to take using my proven success blueprint on how to get your ex back that has helped over 6000 couples stop and reverse their breakups and divorce worldwide.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Justin_Jude