Friday, July 31, 2009

3 Do's and 3 Dont's For Dating Professionals

Dating. Relationships. Ambitions. Career. Love. Do these all fall into different baskets or can they all co-exist? I recently went to a single's mingling event in my hometown. As somewhat as a first timer to these types of events, I really didn't know what to expect so I thought instead of just participating, I would observe and report what I noticed and my personal expertise and experiences in dating and finding that right person as a working professional.

In today's society, we have been cultured to take life in the fast lane. Whether it is Starbucks, or drive through dining, or even the purchase of goods and services online...we have created a way of life that removes steps from everyday actions. Why do we do this? I think the answer is time. As a working professional, my time and others are valued at a cost...a wage, a client, an opportunity. So, how do we co-mingle the inherent way of life that us working professionals live, and also try to find a partner?

Having a strong background in interpersonal relationships, and psychology...I think the answer is that working professionals must take that discretionary time that we actually have, to seek out new and those people who can relate to our way of life and who understand how living in the fast lane can affect your social and dating life.

Getting back to the even that I attended, I noticed that many people grouped together. Some co-workers went with other co-workers, and the men (especially) seemed to group together that were there alone to find a common thing to talk about because it was the easier solution that trying to connect with someone from the opposite sex to evaluate whether or not there is a chemistry. There have been many books and movies recently to be released citing how Men and Women are much different, and how they mature at different ages. There have also been many theories about how to hook that someone that you are after. However, dating is not fishing. Indeed, there are many fish in the sea, and I think that this is what it truly boils down to. With so many college graduates entering the workplace and executives that travel extensively...the pool doesn't shrink, it is just a bit more difficult to take a dive into that dating pool. With that said, I think there are 3 do's and 3 don'ts to dating as a working professional.

First, the do's. Number 1: Opportunities are created everyday for meeting others. Find a local place where others hang out, and go alone. Introduce yourself to as many people as possible until a conversation evolves. Relationships begin with conversation, I think we can all agree that communication is an integral part in business and in our personal lives. Number 2: When the topic of work comes up...be honest, but make it short. Don't use your time with someone to discuss work...learn about the other person. Learn about them and who they are...their likes, dislikes, and common interests. Number 3: As much as it could seem trite. Go online. I have many colleagues whom have met their match on dating websites. There are an abundance of them out there and quite a few are geared toward dating professionals. Join a site, give it a shot. See if it's right for you or not, but especially those who might be intimidated a bit by approaching the opposite sex. This could be a great solution for you...and is proven to work, and in turn...goes with the theory of living in the fast lane. It allows you to put the information you would would to know or provide to someone without letting your guard down for rejection.

Now, the Don'ts. Number 1: Don't feel like you are the only one in your shoes. There is a gigantic amount of working professionals who are single and are looking for partnership. Number 2: Don't be afraid to let down your guard just a bit. Communication is based on send and receive...so don't let a wall get in the way of that. Be yourself and don't try to impress or put up a front for someone. Lastly...Number 3: This is probably the most important of all. Do not play games. As working professionals, most of us are about the bottom line or about facts and opportunity. Games only complicate your efforts and typically will end up just wasting the time that you spend in your efforts to find that special someone.

It all comes down to this...as a working professional, we all should be at least adequate at one common thing. Time management. Find the right solution for you in order to make time for dating and meeting other common professionals. This is not only a good thing for business/networking, but opens up a breadth of opportunity to improve your personal life and personal aspirations to co-exist with the career, the ambitions, and the life you already lead.

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